Damsel in Distress and the Eds
by Reconzilla117
Summary: The first meeting between Hercules and Meg is joined by the Eds, who have arrived by a mysterious portal.


**Hellooooooooooooo everybody! I was going through my Microsoft documents the other day, doing some cleaning by deleting un-uploaded fics and I found this. After some editing, I decided to upload this random idea that came across my mind when I first start fanfic writing. This was originally going to be a multi-chapter story, but I decided it would be better off as a one shot.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Hercules is property of Disney, and Ed, Edd, and Eddy is property of Cartoon Network.**

**ENJOY!**

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_**Peach Creek Woods**_

The sound of laughter can be heard. Eddy came running out of the depths of the woods, long tongue sticking sideways. He stepped into a puddle, but was unbothered and kept on going. Following behind him was Ed, who was also laughing. However, when Ed stepped into the puddle, he fell completely submerged into it. And lastly, was Edd, or as he goes by, Double D. He barely managed to skid himself to a halt in front of the puddle, thus not meeting the same fate as Ed.

"Oh! Puddles can be so messy." Double D commented as he stepped over the puddle before pulling out a caution sign and planted it in front of the puddle. "Hmm, an ounce of prevention." He finished with a satisfied smile, seemingly unaware that one of his friends was just below the water's surface.

"Hey snail boy!" Eddy called out, having reached the end of the woods. "Move it, will ya?! I'm not getting any younger." He finished with a smirk and closed his eyes. But little did the self-appointed leader of the trio know, he walked off the edge of the cliff and was traversing the air.

Double D's eyes widened when he saw Eddy walking the thin air. "Eddy, stop!" The smartest of the trio shouted as he rushed to the edge of the cliff. Eddy halted and looked back.

Suddenly, a soaking wet Ed came charging out of the woods at an alarming speed. "I gotta sober guys!" The dumbest of the trio exclaimed as he zoomed by Double D, crashing into Eddy and pushing them further away from the cliff's edge

Eddy grabbed Ed by the shirt, a glare plastered on his face. "Ed, if you bump into me one more-" He began threateningly.

"Um, guys." Double D interrupted, his voice quivering in fear. Not for himself, but for his two friends.

"What?" Eddy sneered, already annoyed because of Ed.

"Improbable alert!" Double D pointed down.

At last, Eddy looked down and realized the dangerous predicament he was in. A shocked gasp escaped his mouth before he frantically scrambled to get to safety, joining Double D at the cliff's edge. Ed remained where he was.

"Come back Ed!" Eddy and Double D shouted. Ed had a hand over his eyes, almost as if he was determining the distance.

"I can jump it, guys!" Ed declared, and was about to do just that.

"No Ed!" His friends shouted, grabbing him and pulled him back to the edge.

The trio stood in silence for a few seconds, thinking of something, or in Ed's case, nothing.

"Now what?" Double D asked.

"I'm thinking, I'm thinking." Eddy replied.

"Can I think?" Ed inquired.

"No!" Eddy and Double exclaimed in unison.

Thirty minutes later

The trio were finally about to put their plan of getting across the junk valley into motion. They had searched the woods and found an old abandoned cooler with its lid missing, which Eddy deemed could be useful. The self-appointed leader of the trio then decreed they would use one tree as a catapult while another would serve as a release mechanism.

The setup had been a hefty ordeal. In fact, Double D and Ed were the ones that did all the work. Eddy simply sat by, barking orders at them. There had been a few close calls when they were attempting to get the trees into the desired positions, but eventually, they got it right.

The Eds were sitting in the cooler lodged in the leaves of the catapult tree while Ed's drooling jaws were clamped down tightly on the release tree, waiting for the signal from Eddy. Double D held a makeshift tool in the air, examining the wind currents.

"What's the word, Double D?" Eddy asked.

"Well frankly, Eddy, I'm concerned. The wind conditions aren't suitable for our trajectory. The lean is much too steep for the stand." Double D explained with a worried tone.

Eddy just had a blank expression glued to his face. It was obvious that he didn't understand his friend's explanation. "What else is new?" He mumbled rhetorically before turning his attention to Ed. "Let her rip, Ed!"

Ed relinquished his hold on the release tree with a guttural noise. "Gravy." He said simply before the catapult tree shot forward and the three were flung across the valley.

The Eds screamed as they soared through the air, heading for the cul-de-sac. But something most peculiar happened. A portal that tore into the very fabric of time and space itself opened in front the Eds. The trio had barely registered what had happened in front of them before they flew into it. The portal then disappeared.

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_**En Route to Thebes**_

"So, what's in Thebes?" Hercules, son of Zeus, asked his satyr mentor, Phil, as they flew across the sky on Pegasus. Hercules had finally completed his training and now he can truly start his journey to become a true hero and join his parents on Olympus.

"A lot of problems." Phil began. "It's a big tough town, good place to start building a rep." Before further explanation could continue, a distant but very loud scream reached their ears, causing Pegasus to whine.

"Sounds like your basic D.I.D." Phil began. A grin formed on Hercules' face as an idea came to mind.

"Hyah!" The demigod shouted, kicking Pegasus in the side.

"Damsel in DISTRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" Phil wailed as Pegasus suddenly dove downward toward a river.

Not long before

The portal opened and the Eds came crashing out of it. While Eddy and Double D landed either on their back or bottom, Ed landed headfirst, his head becoming buried in the ground.

"What was that!?" Eddy shouted as he leapt back onto his feet

"Well, it looked like a portal." Double D

"Who's there?" They heard Ed's muffled voice.

"Oh for the love of." Eddy growled, annoyed as he walked toward Ed before roughly pulling him out of the ground. Ed's head was still encased in a piece of the ground. "It's us, Lumpy!" Eddy yelled before slamming Ed into the ground, and freeing his head.

"Hiya guys!" Ed said with a wide grin.

"Where are we?" Eddy demanded as he and Double D looked around. These woods were vastly different than the ones they were familiar with.

"Oh dear." Double D murmured in dismay, the severity of the situation was hitting him like a rock thrown by Ed.

"Oh! It's just like the movie Chris and Attack of the Alien Dinosaurs!" Ed yelled with a laugh.

"How do we back?" Eddy asked Double D, who gave the former an incredulous look.

"Why are you asking me?" Double D demanded.

"You're always the brains of our operation." Eddy shot back.

But before Double D could answer, a loud, female scream pierced the air, startling the trio.

"Oh my, someone sounds like they're in need of help." Double D said.

"Oh no! We must save the lady." Ed yelled before taking off in the direction of the scream.

"Ed! Wait!" Eddy and Double D shouted before they ran after their friend.

They pursued Ed to a lake area. Eddy managed to pull Ed into some bushes before the latter could step into the water. From the bushes they hid in, the lake area had a decent size to it. There was a waterfall in front of it.

"Fascinating." Double D whispered in fascination, never unimpressed by the beauty of nature.

"It's waterfall. Big deal." Eddy shrugged, earning a glare from Double D.

However, further conversation was prevent when the Eds spotted a _very _skinny woman, wearing a pink dress and long brown hair, came running out, followed by laughter.

"She must the lady who screamed." Double D noted. Ed opened his mouth to say something, but was prevented from doing so when Eddy smacked him. The Eds turned their attention to what was behind the woman, and their eyes went wide as saucers.

Towering behind the woman was a monster that appeared to be half human, half horse. The human part's skin was a light blue, very muscular, a long chin with a long, skinny black beard, sharp pointed nails, spiked bracelets on the wrists, yellow eyes, and a mouth filled with sharp teeth. The horse part was a light black and looked just as muscular as the human portion.

"A centaur?" Double D realized in disbelief. "But that's impossible. They exist only in fairy tales."

"You wanna tell him that?" Eddy pointed to the centaur.

Double D eyed the half being. His size and muscular build made him an intimidating sight. It caused Double D to gulp nervously. "I'd rather not."

For what seemed like eternity, Meg and Nessus, though the Eds did not know that was their names, stared at each other, before Meg stood up and fled. But Nessus proved to be faster.

"Not so fast, sweetheart." The centaur cooed before effortlessly snatching the woman with one large hand.

"Oh, I swear Nessus, put me down or I'll…" Meg warned before trying to kick Nessus in the face.

"Woah. I like them fiery." Nessus purred with a perverted grin. This made Eddy and Double D want to gag.

Suddenly, a gasp caught their attention. Eddy and Double D turned their heads toward the source and they realized they aren't the only ones watching. In the center part away from them, was a man, another half breed, and… a horse with wings? The man was also muscular, orange hair, wearing a blue cape, a sword was holstered on his right hip.

"It would seem we weren't the only ones who heard the scream." Double D noted.

"Apparently." Eddy said.

They watched as Phil talked to Hercules. They couldn't really hear what the satyr was saying, since they were on different sides of the lake. Then without warning, Hercules walked out of the bushes and sauntered toward Nessus and Meg, leaving behind a fuming Phil.

"What's he doing?" Eddy asked as he eyed Hercules.

"I think it should be obvious, Eddy." Double D deadpanned.

The two finally took notice of how unusually quiet Ed was being. They glanced at their companion, seeing his eyes narrowed dangerously, transfixed on Nessus. Eddy and Double D were on edge. It was very odd for Ed to be this quiet, and it was unnerving them. Right now, Ed was a bomb, and his fuse was shortening with each passing second.

Hercules came to a stop and yelled out, "Halt!" Eddy and Double D arched their brows. Nessus and Meg froze before their gazes drifted over to the new arrival, who had a stern expression on his face, clenched hands planted on his hips

Snorting, Nessus walked up to the man and growled, "Step aside, two legs." The centaur then leaned down and got in the man's face. Hercules cowered briefly, but regained his brave charade.

"Pardon me, my good, uh" The man paused. "Sir." The centaur grunted.

"Did he just?" Eddy trailed off.

"Yeah. He did." Double D finished.

"I'll have to ask you to release that young…" Hercules gestured to the struggling Meg.

"Keep moving junior." The woman sneered.

"Lady…" Hercules trailed off in bafflement. "But you… a-aren't you… a damsel in distress?"

"I'm a damsel…_ grunt_… I'm in distress. I can handle this, have a nice day." Meg said with a mock smile, giving up on trying to free herself from Nessus' grip.

"Really now?" Eddy scoffed.

"She doesn't seem to be grateful." Double D observed.

Hercules was visibly startled by Meg's refusal for help. "Uh." The demigod muttered before clearing his throat. "Ma'am, I'm afraid you maybe too close to the situation but I realize-" He unsheathed his sword, but Nessus struck first, fiercely upper cutting Hercules and sent him flying backwards. Eddy and Double D winced at the hit.

"AAAAAH!" Ed abruptly screamed out, breaking his silence, causing his two friends to wince at his volume and earning everyone's attention. He then began to run toward Nessus. Eddy and Double D grabbed him and tried to hold him back, but Ed only ended up dragging them with him.

"ED! NO!" Eddy and Double D shouted before their faces became submerged in the water.

"RELEASE THE PRETTY LADY!" Ed roared as he ran toward Nessus, only to be punched by the centaur, sending Ed, along with Eddy and Double D who still had a hold on him, flying. "Ed can fly!" He said with a laugh while his friends screamed. They crashed next to Hercules.

"Who are you guys?" The demigod asked.

"We'll do introductions later! Let's find your sword!" Double D shouted in fright after he got onto his feet. They heard Phil yelling about the sword as well.

"Sword, right, right." The man said as the group began to frantically rummage through the water as Nessus approached them. "Rule number fifteen, a hero is only as good as his weapon!" The man whirled around a pointed a _fish_ at Nessus.

Eddy and Double D stared at Hercules in disbelief. The demigod's eyes widened. Phil face palmed. Meg looked unimpressed. Nessus began to laugh loudly. Ed, being himself, joined in with the centaur's laughter.

"Are you kidding me?!" Eddy raged at Hercules.

The fish took one look at Nessus and screamed, terrified at the sight before it and slipped out of Hercules' grasp. "Bye, Mr. Fish." Ed said with a laugh. Nessus then proceeded to punch Hercules and the Eds, once again sending the four of them flying. The man slammed headfirst into a rock, and the Eds landed nearby.

"That's it!" Eddy growled before jumping up into the air and defied gravity. "Wait till I get my hands on you, horse boy! You're gonna wish you've never been born by the time I'm done with you!" He shouted, shaking his fists at Nessus.

"Eddy! Don't antagonize him!" Double D exclaimed in exasperation as Eddy came back down.

"Come on kid, concentrate!" They heard the man's satyr friend shout. Hercules recovered from hitting his head on the rock before spitting what water. "Use your head!"

Hercules slowly grinned as an idea hatched within his mind. Somehow, Ed also had the same idea. So, Hercules and Ed took off toward Nessus, who was now busy trying to free his beard from Meg's grasp, while Eddy and Double D watched. The two lowered their heads, and while Hercules was growling, Ed was laughing away. When they got close enough, they rammed Nessus in the stomach, causing the centaur to finally release his captive and was sent flying away. A tremor shook the area as Nessus crashed into the waterfall, hitting the rocks behind it.

"WE HAVE DEFEATED THE VILE BEAST!" Ed yelled in triumphant before engulfing Hercules in a bear hug, laughing and dancing in place.

"Oof! Oh." The demigod grunted, surprised by this stranger's strength, as Eddy and Double D joined them.

"Ed, you can let go of him now." Double D said.

"Okay, Double D." Ed said with a grin, before releasing him.

"I don't want to be rude, but your friend here smells." Hercules after he composed himself.

"You get used to it after a while." Eddy shrugged casually.

"So, who are you three?" Hercules inquired.

Before anyone could say anything, a cough got their attention. They looked downward to see Meg sitting in the water with her hair hiding her face.

"AH! EVIL MUTANT WATER MONSTER!" Ed yelled, and was then smacked hard in the head by Eddy.

"No, Burrhead. It's the woman." Eddy said.

Hercules' face flushed with embarrassment as he knelt down and picked up Meg bridal style. "Geez, miss. I'm really sorry." The demigod said apologetically as he walked over to a thick branch overhanging the lake. "That was dumb." He finished as he placed Meg down on the branch.

The woman's hands went into her hair and split it open. "Yeah." She said with a sassy tone. Further talk was prevented when the sound of snorting pierced the air.

"Oh dear." Double D murmured in dismay as the four turned around to see a very angry Nessus charging toward them.

"You comin back for round two, horse boy!?" Eddy yelled as Hercules looked at Meg.

"Excuse me." He said simply before taking off toward Nessus, leaving Meg and the Eds staring after him.

"Well, he seems confident." Double D said.

While Meg went to work on drying out her hair, the Eds watched as Hercules leapt onto Nessus' back, pummeled the centaur's head three times before grabbing Nessus' head, _pulled _it _up _before Hercules jumped off Nessus and threw the centaur overhead into the shallow water, creating a loud splash.

"Wow." The Eds breathed in awe.

"Wish we had popcorn for that." Eddy commented.

"Nice work! Excellente!" Phil shouted in pride.

Then, the Eds watched as Hercules mounted Nessus, causing Ed to grin. "RODEO!" The dumbest of the trio exclaimed and broke into a sprint.

"Woah Lumpy!" Eddy yelled as he and Double D once again tried to hold Ed back, only to achieve the same result as last time.

Just as Nessus was about to take off up the river with Hercules already as an unwanted passenger, Ed laughed as he lunged forward, his speed unhindered despite having two people latching onto him, grabbing hold of the centaur's tail just as Nessus broke off into a sprint up the river.

Nessus snorted as he thrashed around, trying to shake off his unwanted passengers. Hercules hooted and hollered gleefully. Ed was laughing away as Nessus' tail whipped around wildly. Eddy and Double D merely screamed as they held onto Ed for dear life, with Eddy silently vowing to beat Ed into a pulp.

But at one point, Ed's grip on Nessus' tail suddenly slip. "Bye Mr. Horse Boy." The dumbest of the trio waved. Eddy and Double D screamed as they plummeted toward the water. But before they could land in the water, a familiar portal opened just below them.

"What the?" Eddy grunted as they fell into the portal, and it closed immediately after.

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**Thank you for reading! Please leave a review and have an awesome day!**


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